Saturday, August 23, 2014

Project Runway Recap: The Doom of Spoilers

Episode Five: Project Runway

The Klum of Doom

In my various, random clicking around the interwebs, I stumbled across Heidi Klum in a blue, swirly dress. Well, at first it didn't look like her, so I clicked it and accidentally subjected myself to a spoiler! I was truly annoyed.

They announced the winner of this week's challenge long before the episode aired. Not amused. So that colored my perceptions the entire time. If you haven't seen the epsiode, I'll not spoil the surprise until the end. Oh, wait. This contains spoilers all the way through! You shouldn't be here if you haven't seen the latest episode. Shoo!

Heidi climbs from a limo. Cameras flashing, people trying to get her attention. She's pretending to be glamorous and above it all, but she's wearing a trenchcoat. Hey, for all I know, that's her outfit for the week. It's not. She announces to the designers that it's a red carpet challenge.

Cue all the moans and exclamations about how red carpet and gowns are not what they design. “I'm so out of my comfort zone, and it's scary” Basically, 90% of the contestants say that when they get thrown a curve.

I'm not uber prepared for anything, but if I'm in a design contest like Project Runway, I know that eventually I'm going to be asked to make a gown, men's wear and a dress out of corn husks. It shouldn't be a mystery. I'd have practiced. Done some research. Something! Prepare for the show, Designers!

They have to make her an outfit for the creative design emmys. I don't think that's the regular Emmys. It sounds interesting, though. That's on my list of things to check out and research. You know, for my random information drawer!

“Heidi loves to show the skin” Why, yes. Yes she does. Anyone about to shove her into yards of fabric is going to find a Heidi-shaped hole stomped in their butts.

Tim calls out Mitchell and tells him “Get it, Mitchell. Elegant and sophisticated.” Mitchell smiles cutely, (or so he thinks) but that was a zing from Tim! A zing, Mitchell!

That could be my interpretation alone. I find Mitchell's outfits a bit tacky. He strives to be cute, fun and slightly edgy, but he falls short in each outfit that I've seen him make so far.

All the designers are scared and anxious to be the designer chosen by Heidi. It is great exposure for the winner. It will bring out the best and the worst in them. They'll soar or sink dramatically on this one. I'm curious to see which!

I'm also curious how Heidi – who has loved Sandhya's outfits – will feel about what she makes this challenge. I bet she won't love them as much, or want to take a risk for a red carpet event.

The editing can be so amusing at times. I know it's used to create drama. Sour faces inserted at the wrong time when it never happened that way in real life. Korina says “I think the snakeskin I got will make the dress high fashion” cut away to Fade's shirt that has “Huh?” written across it.

Twenty minutes after they return, Kini is almost finished with his dress. The designers are too amazed to hate him for it, yet, but give it time.

Heidi is about to step into the room. I'm giddy with anticipation. She's like a tiny, little sadist complete with the evil laugh.

Shot of the fridge with comments about how cool it is? Random.

Yay, Heidi's here to throw the fear around plus the evil laughs!

She likes the first few outfits, and only has a few tips for them. “Don't bore me” “Show my boobs off” and “You know I like to show skin.”

Mitchell's dress looks like horns, and it covers her cleavage. Big no for Heidi on that last part alone.

Heidi gets to Sandhya's and says it looks like Dynasty, very 1980s and grand dame. Sandhya looks confused and asks if that's a bad thing.

It's like they saved the worst for the last few so Heidi could save her energy and stomp all the designers one after the other in a row and not have to waste time on her hating spree.

I finally remember the slightly bitchy ones name because Heidi destroys her. Korina says I think this is definitely you. Heidi is annoyed and insulted that Korina thinks Heidi is a sad, hunter green dress with snakeskin that reminds her of a german hunter's jacket.

Heidi's parting shot “Make it work, and don't start crying about it.” which makes Korina cry. Heidi tries to soften the blow a little but she really was like 'hm. don't cry about this, big crybaby.'

Tim and Heidi return!

Designers tremble in fear.

Shell-shocked faces stare at them blankly.

Happy day for the struggling designers. They get more money and another trip to Mood. Those that don't need to go back can give their money to another designer. Sandhya is no fool. She's wandering around as soon as Tim leaves. Three or four other designers give her their money. Mitchell is mad and calls her selfish in his interview, but everyone had that opportunity. He's got sour grapes because he didn't think of it first! Imagine that. She used all that money for herself, in a competition! Crazy talk.

They get back with their extra fabric and try to salvage their designs. You can see how thoroughly confused some of them are.

Mitchell is a straight mess. I don't want to be too unkind, but I think he's just completely out of his element. It's not a cute party dress so he doesn't know what to do.

I was growing to like one of the other designers, Kristine. She's shown some common sense and hasn't been dramatic, which now that I'm writing this, I realize is the kiss of auf'ing for her.

Cue the frenzied sewing and running around.

These are the notable looks that made it out the other side.

The losing looks from Mitchel and Kristine.

Mitchell's look
Fair Use via Project Runway

Kristine's look
via Fair Use Project Runway

The double elimination wasn't much of a surprise. Both outfits were bad. Korina should have been in that pack. A triple elimination perhaps, but the two losing designers had been in the bottom last week, too.

A few comments about the dresses.

Fair Use via Project Runway
Fade's was interesting. Not a winning look perhaps, but his garments are pulling away from the pack.

Fair Use via Project Runway
In a real design world where they weren't making 'show off my boobs', fun, sassy gowns for Heidi, Kini would have won. But this is Heidi. That dress didn't show nearly enough skin or have a wow factor. It was elegant and beautiful, though. He's done some really great work this season, but I'm underwhelmed for some reason. There doesn't seem to be a lot of risk with his designs.  

Fair Use via Project Runway
Sean's winning design. It's strangely bulky in weird areas, but I wasn't disappointed by his win. 

Via Zap2it

And Heidi definitely had fun in it. 


  1. I'm appreciating this more and more! Other than not really giving a fig about Heidi Klum and her boobage. I was just reading a fashion magazine today and feeling like I should surrender my woman card.....the way you present it makes it so much more interesting!

    1. I wouldn't even consider myself girly or fashion-conscious. Well, not in a strict way. I wouldn't wear my hair in a side ponytail or a large neon belt off my waist ala the 80s, but I hated the 80s! I like the pressured creativity. Like with all that huge pressure and weight, a diamond should emerge from the wreckage!

      I'm glad you're liking the recaps enough to read them. You ARE Awesamsauce!